There are two things that really annoy when you are single , the first is that when you buy food and you live alone, you are afraid that it will go bad, because it all depends on the speed at which you eat.
The second, the phrases
Yes, I mean the ones you hear from your friends (partners, of course) to try to ‘cheer you up’ about your situation .
And while they mean nothing, not only do they assume we want to be in a relationship too, but many of them are based on myths of romantic love.
The best example is that of “Love arrives when you least expect it” , as if the bus had a minimum service day due to a strike.
In addition to the fact that no one has scientific proof that this is the case, perhaps you are not looking for love.
Maybe what you really want is a drop in rental prices , to be able to become independent on your own, without having to share with anyone, because you are happy with your dog as your only roommate.
Another one that we also say is “And how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Well why not, period. Getting a boyfriend is not as simple as throwing a scarf around your neck.
You can have all the predisposition in the world or not have time, find people with whom you do not feel like creating emotional ties or, simply, be fine on your own .
“It is that you are very demanding” , you have to hear from time to time.
Well, maybe wanting someone who isn’t jealous by your side, unlike your friend who is already married to someone who doesn’t even let her talk in the gym, isn’t exactly putting the scale through the roof.
At the moment when you are clear about what you want and how you deserve to be treated, not settling for less is not a requirement, it is a self-care basic .
“Why don’t you try…?” , is the phrase that comes with everything from mobile apps to meet people to speed dating events or even singles cruises around the Greek Islands.
Something that is usually said in a context in which, in no case have you asked for help or suggestions on how to meet people and that, furthermore, they do not have to be the solution to all problems or work equally well for everyone.
There are those who are lucky enough to find their partner in a lucky first match and those who hate the idea of having a profile on a dating app.
Another of the relationships that we have not yet sufficiently deconstructed is that of relating motherhood to the couple .
Because there are still those who, finding out about your marital status, say “Aren’t you going to have children?” and she is so comfortable.
As if the only way to conceive was in a relationship.
Not only are there other ways to be a single mother -such as in vitro fertilization with a donor from a sperm bank, for example-, but there are alternative ways such as adoption.
If you want to fulfill the dream of being a mother, we have to stop sending messages that one person alone cannot do it.
More than anything because it is not only capable -and we all have a single-parent case in our family, if you think about it, which proves it-, but the couple does not guarantee that there will be co- responsibility in parenting .
Perhaps, when reading these phrases, you think that, if you have ever used them (as is my case, I confess), it has not been with bad intentions , but quite the opposite.
But from the other side they are received with a certain condescension , because when you listen to them they remind you of «Are you sad? Smile”.
Neither does being single depend on one person – there are a series of factors that cannot be controlled – nor should we assume that the ideal state is to be in a relationship and immediately try to ‘fix’ your situation.
The best question you can ask then? How are you? What’s up? Any news at work? How is your family? You are happy?
But boy, you can apply it to a single person and anyone really.